Broken Brain

You should want to live, they say,
But I don’t,
And in their eyes that’s the problem.
Why is my only goal wrong?
Just because I want death
that must mean there’s something wrong
with my brain.
But what if the problem lies with them?
What if they’re the ones with the broken brains?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with my goal.
I think there’s something wrong with their expectations.

Originally written 3/15/17

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5 thoughts on “Broken Brain

  1. I love this idea. This is exactly how I feel on an everyday basis. Literally and figuratively.

    I have been working extremely hard at accepting myself as I am and not hating how open my mind is. I always read INFP and my mother reads ESFJ, which means she is tightly controlled by society and others, while I am a free and individual thinker. I’ve been told all my life I am weird or crazy or wrong and I got myself into a relationship with an ISTP which means someone who doesn’t understand feelings, doesn’t like to talk, and doesn’t think abstractly. It has perceptibly killed me from the inside out. But I am finally on my own away from those two people who were just literally killing my soul, and I am feeling so much better. I have been connecting with other intuitive thinkers who are open-minded and like weird pursuits or enigmatic art… tbh though I keep to my introvert self and have just tended to widen my previous xanga circles in search of more interesting people.

    • I can relate. Instead of a relationship, I just have family who are very isolating, even though I don’t think they mean to be. But that’s family. They think that what they do is in your best interest. At least they do if they love you, and I feel that love is often misguided. We intend to do well by others, but we so rarely ask others what would be best for them, assuming instead that because we’ve known them all their life we must be acutely aware of the truth. Anyway, I’m rambling, and yes, I understand.

      • Be proud of yourself. You are gritty in holding on to your beliefs and continuing to pursue the truth as you find it, rather than being told what it is or should be. I enjoy your thoughts. Don’t need to censor them. <3

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